A New Entry In My Liberal Devil’s Dictionary

In several previous post’s I have indicated an interest in updating Ambrose Bierce’s classic The Devil’s Dictionary. One of Bierce’s typical definitions, for those of you who are temporarily unfamiliar with him, was conservative, which he defined as “A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.”

Some of the possible entries in my revised, updated, Liberal Devil’s Dictionary, taken from those earlier posts, include:

DIVERSITY, n.

A college admissions policy that discriminates against Asians so that whites can be exposed to blacks and Hispanics.

QUOTA, n.
The reservation of a specific number of positions for applicants from approved racial and ethnic groups, as distinguished from AFFIRMATIVE ACTION, a policy whose purpose and effect is to fill the same number of positions with applicants from approved racial and ethnic groups by giving them preferences based on their race or ethnicity.

PLAYING THE RACE CARD, v.
Low, base, racist tactic of calling attention to the race of a political candidate in order to elicit a) animosity, if played against one’s opponent, or b) sympathy, if dealt to one’s self or one’s favored candidate, a maneuver that pre-emptively employs this low, base, racist tactic to accuse one’s opponent of planning to engage in low, base, racist tactics.

LEVEL PLAYING FIELD, n.
The political, social, and economic terrain that will ensure that two or more teams with different levels of ability, experience, equipment, interest, attitude, coaching, etc. always achieve equal scores and win the same number of games.

Here’s my new nominee, suggested by James Taranto’s “language note” in his recent “Best of the Web” Wall Street Journal column — “One suspects the ObamaCare debut will make it impossible for anyone ever again to use the word ‘glitches’ unironically”:

GLITCHES, n.
Normal and ubiquitous components of large government programs that exhibit the lack of competence and efficiency predicted by conservative critics.